I think im so goddamned free. I have been updating so frequently. But who gives a shit. Nobody reads it anyway. hahaha.

Anw, the bucket list is a pretty good show, in the sense that it sets you thinking about life, again. Honestly speaking, I quite hate these shows. I mean, damn, just take life as it comes. Whats so frigging difficult about that. Why do we have to think so much. It was mentioned in the movie. I don't know if the stats are true, but I would think that it is. According to a survey, when asked if given a chance, would one want to know how much time one has left in this world, 96% said no. Come to think of it, its pretty scary to know how long more you have to live. Its like those people with terminal diseases. Its so morbid, so scary.

The bucket list refers to a list of things that you want to do, before you, well, kick the bucket. I think most of us have no idea whats on our bucket list. The show goes on to explore how the items in our bucket list will always diverge from the mental image that we perceive in our minds.

Its the same old cliched question. If I told you that you would die the very next day, what would you do? Have there been things that you've always wanted to do but failed to muster the courage, or even set aside the time, to take the first step? This movie will no doubt set us thinking, but after that, we will just settle back into our old routine, living the good old cosmopolitan lifestyle that we are so used to, trodding the path where zillions have walked, not having the slightest courage to digress into a path less travelled.

Sure, no doubt, its an inspirational movie. But ask yourself, how deep an impact has the movie left on you. Is it hard enough for you to want to change anything in your life? Upon the realisation of all that the movie has presented, will it change the way you lead your life?

We will still continue to marvel at people who dare to live life differently, to take the path less travelled, in search of their own dreams. And majority of us will still be sucked into the bump and grind of our competitive society. And for most of us, the moment we close our eyes forever, we will be unable to say that we've already done everything that we've always wanted to do in our lifetime.

Because its just a damned movie.

The day I ord-ed, I happily packed all my army items into my nice duffle bag and kept it away in an inconspicuous corner in my room, thinking that I would not have to see it for at least the next one or two years. I would never have guessed that, less than 5 months down the road, I have to dig everything out again and wear back my stupid uniform and report to that shitty place again. For a recall.
Seriously, can someone please tell me WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!! I mean, come on, I barely ord-ed for less than 5 months. The bulk of my batch have not even got their reservist unit yet. And I am not liable for any call up yet. But I can come back for a stupid recall. How fucking idiotic is that. From the gate all the way to the unit, countless active people helping out with the recall said hi to me. And majority of the faces I see are familiar faces. Thats how recent it was.
I don't know what to say, except that these people never fail to piss me off. As a trainee, I hated the place. 2 months before I ord-ed, I was posted back in, and they gave me many reasons to hate that sickening place again. Now, even after I ord-ed, they are still back to haunt me. I mean, frigging hell, I barely ord-ed for 4 months. Give me a break man.
Fucking losers with nothing better to do.

hmm, do you pick up girls? Have you ever picked up a girl, be it off the street, at a club or wherever? Have you even asked a girl you barely know for her contact number/email? If you had gotten it so easily, would you still treasure her as much? Or do you not believe in picking up girls at all?
"At the end of the day, what changes is not the other party, but your mindset."
So, is it time for a change? I don't know man. Up till now, I am still unable to fathom what is exactly holding me back. The mindset, the over-inflated male ego, or conversely the lack of courage.

And anyway, surfing the web is bad. It makes you find out more, more evidence that makes you regret your decision, or rather the lack of it, even more.

Sadness.

Ok, I think I like this new look so much better. So much cleaner, so much less dark and more soft and gay and..=)
Anyway, I think this is now like a once a month thing. As in, blogging, not you know what, you dirty fellows. Work is really sapping all my energy, so much so that I just want to rot and do nothing else on my off days. Blogging is really like the last thing on my mind now, if its even on my list in at all.

I don't know how many opportunities I've missed in my life. Perhaps as many as the stars in the sky. Ok I am getting pretty dreamy. No but back to the topic, I realised that I've really missed out on too much in life, because of hesitation, because of thinking too much. I was never a go getter. I would always do a cost-benefit analysis for most of the decisions that I make. The good thing is, I would not make as many mistakes as my peers. The downside is, I miss out on a lot as well.
And I realised, I've been thinking a lot about the what ifs. And the more I focused on the what ifs, the more sore I am about missing out on stuff because I was a tad too late, because I was taking too long to consider, and think about it.
And I am feeling more sore than ever now.

Shall go do some catching up on my shitty Jap now.